i find myself meditating moving chi about.
it's relevant only in the sense that I look back at typical hallmarks of my past:
9 yrs old, listening to AC/DC with Bon Scott, Van Halen and ELO playing d&d 'till the sun came up
11 yrs old, playing with star wars action figures and mobilizing my cardboard base, Warstar, against my neighborhood pals John and Efram
13 yrs old, break dancing my way into a local crew, Sidewalk, after decimating someone who called me out; i pop-locked and dove into a ham'bone routine at El Paseo De Saratoga
16 yrs old, arriving at my new school on my motorcycle, black jacket jeans and jean vest feeling very much, 'country' when my cousins and everyone else seemed so cool
19 yrs old, sending a letter, and getting a response, after sending Keith Haring a letter on how a west coast graffiti artist perceives his work
22 yrs old, finding myself managing a coffee shop in Pacific Heights just trying to make enough to support myself- school was gonna be on hold for a minute
25 yrs... all hell breaking loose embarking on the dawn of my Saturn Returns
16 years later now: consciously moving energy around for healing's sake.
holding an instrument and making music.
the road to actually holding a guitar and manipulating sounds- from the simplest to the more complex is pretty awe inspiring.
i'm convinced that what matters most is WHAT you DO with what YOU HAVE
well, because i was never supposed to have made it this far- it was nobody's bet
to be a little 'older'; you may be able to feel what i mean.
it has been said that, when it comes to growth- you either go inside, or away.
i've been away, but now i just go in.
but it's all to an end- to not keep it inside, but to take an individual creative process and place something unique into the world.
to share it.
to be communal.
to reciprocate.
to know humility.
to celebrate love and the simplicity of breath.
love has it's benefits.
over time, it's called 'practice'
as i set forth to teach another year of 4th grade, begin grad school for my masters, and help my son navigate life along kindergarten...
what i know more than anything is to simply be present and keep to schedule.
just showing up- completely up, really is everything.
as an aside, i wrote a new song over the weekend
i was wondering how transitions to acoustic translations of electronica with a rappy bent would come out looking like...
i was convinced that something was gonna blow after having an epiphany sort of thing after listening to Just What I Needed by the Cars on the way home from family swim.
i was inspired to begin working some raw ideas into formation.
here's the lyrics from one of my first songs right out the gate:
Seventy Nine
by BWLP
girl meets girl...
agrees those sleigh bells
she wears during
intercourse maps
backs tracks nails
bitten tongues taste queries
ecstasy sounds like
candle lighting shadows
filter coalesced thrown fights
underground betting rings
get paid rackets
profitable lovers can’t
resist flames burnt blackest
until fossilized fuels
costume, change CO
2 could make a thing
go right styles, but are they real
waivers signed entran
-ces believed myth
-ical rumors spilled
blessed wax, but ain’t riff
but ain’t riff; but ain’t riff
but ain’t riff;
but ain’t riff; but ain’t riff
but ain’t riff; seventy nine
visitation window closes
longer do trees rot
effortless yields minus
true, forests or not
got ziplock bags
various caps fabled
toy tags o unseen
skilled beyond labeled
night new day zenith roof
lays dreams immense
up twinkles clap streams
rap stuff, entanglements
envisioned new developed
hate roots seeded
you undoable amne
-siacs histories repeated
waivers signed entran
-ces believed myth
-ical rumors spilled
blessed wax, but ain’t riff
but ain’t riff; but ain’t riff
but ain’t riff;
but ain’t riff; but ain’t riff
but ain’t riff; seventy nine
today.... tomorrow
yesterday chronicles
ephe mera dripped mass
print word, sea goggles
cause conventions air tight
around eyes no leaks
sentences, disproportionate
royalties don’t speak
to ignorance paying rape
to look good, now that's deep
but understood, no smiles
so affectionate's sneak
waivers signed entran
-ces believed myth
-ical rumors spilled
blessed wax, but ain’t riff
but ain’t riff; but ain’t riff
but ain’t riff;
but ain’t riff; but ain’t riff
but ain’t riff; seventy nine
seventy nine
seventy nine
seventy nine
seventy nine
the song's about a lot of stuff, but hey...Just What I Needed?
it could be said that song isn't about much- but it's a great pop song.
i'm still working out the chords on this 'not-so-pop' thing
then there's this one last BWLP hip hop mix show to post for the year
yeah, just being present and on schedule.
some wherein be love.
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